Monday, February 10, 2014

Waking up from a fog

Last weekend made me realize how much I miss summer. Summer is the time when everything feels different. Or maybe summer is the time when everything feels different but is actually the way it's supposed to be. People are more relaxed, they act themselves, they can do what they want more. In the summer, days are longer and nights almost don't exist at all - at least in Finland we get to enjoy the light 24/7. At some point in the spring I start waking up from this fog. I don't know exactly how to explain it, or if others feel this too, but one day, year after year, I feel like I wake up from winter and see clearly again. It's like wiping the dirt of the windshield. I see that there is no point of hiding my opinions and that I should talk to a person that I've been meaning to talk to a long time, and that there is nothing to be afraid of. Life is good. At that moment, I ask myself, what the heck have I been afraid of all winter! Why have I kept a part of myself hidden? Why have I not smiled more, or laughed, why have I cared so much about what other people think about me, why haven't I done more things that I enjoy doing, why haven't I lived? Yes, it's easy to think like this when the realization comes as summer approaches. The sunlight comes from behind the trees when I walk to school in the morning, maybe a couple weeks before the summer holidays or so, and I feel completely happy. Like nothing's wrong in my life. Or like things might not be perfect all the time, but none of that matters if I take things the right way and think positively. All that light and the feeling of complete freedom you get in the summer, well, that for me is the most incredible feeling in the universe. It's the time of the year I feel the happiest, and then somehow when the winter comes, I slowly sink into this dark fog that makes me not see clearly. It's sort of sad. But whatever it's worth, waking up from that fog feels so great that I don't know if I even mind it anymore. Maybe it's supposed to be like this; it's supposed to be a reminder of the fact that life is unique and nothing can ruin it, and that during the summer I have the perfect opportunity to express myself and enjoy the amazing little things in life like sunlight, staying up all night talking and singing and dancing from the bottom of my heart.

1 comment:

  1. Hihii löysin sun blogin :-) Kurkkaa mun profiili niin näät kuka kirjottelee!